Obituary: Common Sense

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  • 68GTO
    The Coach Z
    • Sep 2003
    • 15772

    Obituary: Common Sense

    Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was
    since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing
    when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

    Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge).

    His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

    Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a Band aide to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

    Common Sense lost the will to live when religions became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault.

    Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

    Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim.
    Captain Obvious reporting for duty.
    • Bullet point mafia
    There = a place
    Their = belonging to someone, possessive
    They're = contraction of they + are
  • NOTNSS
    x
    • Mar 2004
    • 42731

    #2
    Am I in his will?

    Comment

    • 00Formula
      TCS Homer
      • Mar 2008
      • 3923

      #3
      I like the creative writing but were you really bored enough to type up all that or copy it?
      Originally posted by retics4me
      Im not very smart but I can lift heavy things

      Comment

      • Stormwalker
        ggggggggggggggggggggggggg ggggg
        Moderator
        • Mar 2004
        • 21617

        #4
        Originally posted by 00Formula View Post
        I like the creative writing but were you really bored enough to type up all that or copy it?
        It's a repost.

        Common sense has died at least 3 times on this forum.


        Practically, common sense has died many times more than that on this forum though.
        Originally posted by Nick
        The choice is easy.

        Taxwalker.

        Comment

        • 00Formula
          TCS Homer
          • Mar 2008
          • 3923

          #5
          Originally posted by Stormwalker View Post
          It's a repost.

          Common sense has died at least 3 times on this forum.


          Practically, common sense has died many times more than that on this forum though.
          It once lived on this forum? Lies I tell you.
          Originally posted by retics4me
          Im not very smart but I can lift heavy things

          Comment

          • LS1Z28
            TCS Homer
            • Aug 2005
            • 2392

            #6
            Originally posted by Stormwalker View Post
            It's a repost.

            Common sense has died at least 3 times on this forum.


            Practically, common sense has died many times more than that on this forum though.
            Originally posted by CAMSS30
            Oh heavens no I'm a big pussy, my parents sealed that when they named me Chet.

            Comment

            • SDK
              #1McMoppoFan
              • Oct 2005
              • 12342

              #7
              There are still some normal people out there. You just have to find them. And when you find them you usually find other normal wannabees following along.

              Comment

              • 68GTO
                The Coach Z
                • Sep 2003
                • 15772

                #8
                Originally posted by 00Formula View Post
                I like the creative writing but were you really bored enough to type up all that or copy it?
                Not mine. Copy/paste. I DID search for it, however, before I posted. Did not locate and then posted.

                Common sense?
                Captain Obvious reporting for duty.
                • Bullet point mafia
                There = a place
                Their = belonging to someone, possessive
                They're = contraction of they + are

                Comment

                • Southern
                  Brougham
                  • Jun 2005
                  • 34553

                  #9
                  Obama will give out common cents.
                  ./ ____ _ _\.
                  (]]]_ o _[[[)
                  \o_FORD_o/
                  |__|.....|__|

                  Comment

                  • SDK
                    #1McMoppoFan
                    • Oct 2005
                    • 12342

                    #10
                    This thread sucks out loud

                    Comment

                    • Fosters
                      Typical white person
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 16014

                      #11
                      Originally posted by PipeSnake View Post
                      There are still some normal people out there. You just have to find them. And when you find them you usually find other normal wannabees following along.
                      Are any of them in the government?
                      Originally posted by punch
                      SFC is a bag of stupid.
                      Capitalization is the difference between helping your uncle Jack off a horse & helping your uncle jack off a horse.

                      Comment

                      • Fernanernie
                        Hot slut aficionado
                        • Dec 2003
                        • 50750

                        #12
                        Dear Government, eventually the people with money will tell you to fuck off, and stop paying for those that don't work

                        Comment

                        • Fosters
                          Typical white person
                          • Sep 2006
                          • 16014

                          #13
                          Originally posted by Fernanernie View Post


                          I can't believe I read all that, but holy shit that's funny
                          Originally posted by punch
                          SFC is a bag of stupid.
                          Capitalization is the difference between helping your uncle Jack off a horse & helping your uncle jack off a horse.

                          Comment

                          • ScotWithOne_t
                            OMGfast. Always.
                            • Jan 2005
                            • 5849

                            #14
                            Originally posted by 68GTO View Post
                            Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
                            Common sense died when America started using the McDonald's lawsuit as a scapegoat for taking a jab and laywers and the legal system.
                            Common sense died when people started thinking it is okay for McDonald's to serve a FOOD PRODUCT that can cause 3rd degree burns.
                            http://scotspage.blogspot.com/

                            Comment

                            • Sasquatch
                              TCS Homer
                              • Apr 2007
                              • 849

                              #15
                              Originally posted by ScotWithOne_t View Post
                              Common sense died when America started using the McDonald's lawsuit as a scapegoat for taking a jab and laywers and the legal system.
                              Like many people, it's fairly obvious the author's only knowledge is of the media's truncated facts.

                              I personally think the lawsuit for the $54 million pair of pants should be used instead.

                              Comment

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