MORE blonde jokes

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  • sinSStr
    Pro lurker
    • Jun 2008
    • 27376

    MORE blonde jokes

    A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.


    Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.' The second blonde says, 'Here, let me see!' So the first blonde hands her the compact.
    The second one looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy, it's me!'



    A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
    The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!' The blonde replies, 'Shut up , you're next!'


    What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
    Is it mine?



    Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about. Bambi pondered the question, then finally said, 'Thas was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware .'


    Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond.

    As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash the blond ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.


    Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman.'
    '96 Impala SS #21,559 of 41,934
    Rockin'98/Garage Couch Mafia

    Originally posted by Outrun
    You should write books. Your attention to detail had me on the edge of my seat the whole time. I had no idea what to expect until I got to the end. And let me tell you, I came. Hard. Thanks! Will read again. Asset to TCS. A++++++++++
    Originally posted by SVT5LITER
    I had to unexpectedly part with a pair of briefs today, lol. Not totally sure what that was about
    R.I.P. Rockin'98!
  • SweetLou
    Resident Phatass
    • Apr 2008
    • 1551

    #2
    I don't get the first one. Others are pretty funny tho!
    Dont sweat the petty stuff, and dont pet the sweaty stuff

    Comment

    • CCr
      The penis has spoken.
      • Jun 2005
      • 10966

      #3
      Originally posted by SweetLou View Post
      I don't get the first one. Others are pretty funny tho!
      me either.
      Originally posted by xjfish
      Cool story bro. I prefer fat chicks.
      I'd be unstoppable if it weren't for law enforcement and physics.
      Raquel Petrowski 4/13/78-4/19/10

      Comment

      • SweetLou
        Resident Phatass
        • Apr 2008
        • 1551

        #4
        Originally posted by CCr View Post
        me either.


        Good, I wasn't sure if I was just
        Dont sweat the petty stuff, and dont pet the sweaty stuff

        Comment

        • X32 lARO
          Your Wisdom Is Profound.
          • Oct 2004
          • 2868

          #5
          They were asking for directions.
          TurkeyLick ItThe Idiot Test Screw Her GentlyPrison SexConcentrationPing Pong Are You Dumb?

          Comment

          • X32 lARO
            Your Wisdom Is Profound.
            • Oct 2004
            • 2868

            #6
            A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said 'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and hung up.




            They were asking for directions.
            TurkeyLick ItThe Idiot Test Screw Her GentlyPrison SexConcentrationPing Pong Are You Dumb?

            Comment

            • Drunko McMoppo
              Bloody Bill Brownlow
              • Aug 2003
              • 50752

              #7
              Directions to where and why call hot blonde milf with big cans?
              1998 Buick Lesabre Custom

              Comment

              • X32 lARO
                Your Wisdom Is Profound.
                • Oct 2004
                • 2868

                #8
                Originally posted by LTDpower View Post
                Directions to where and why call hot blonde milf with big cans?
                Because the caller didn't know she was blonde.
                TurkeyLick ItThe Idiot Test Screw Her GentlyPrison SexConcentrationPing Pong Are You Dumb?

                Comment

                • Drunko McMoppo
                  Bloody Bill Brownlow
                  • Aug 2003
                  • 50752

                  #9
                  Originally posted by X32 lARO View Post
                  Because the caller didn't know she was blonde.
                  Then how did the caller know her number?
                  1998 Buick Lesabre Custom

                  Comment

                  • X32 lARO
                    Your Wisdom Is Profound.
                    • Oct 2004
                    • 2868

                    #10
                    Originally posted by LTDpower View Post
                    Then how did the caller know her number?
                    He called the wrong number.
                    TurkeyLick ItThe Idiot Test Screw Her GentlyPrison SexConcentrationPing Pong Are You Dumb?

                    Comment

                    • CCr
                      The penis has spoken.
                      • Jun 2005
                      • 10966

                      #11
                      I call that a bad joke. not funny at all, no conclusion. if you have to think about a blonde joke then it's not a joke.
                      Originally posted by xjfish
                      Cool story bro. I prefer fat chicks.
                      I'd be unstoppable if it weren't for law enforcement and physics.
                      Raquel Petrowski 4/13/78-4/19/10

                      Comment

                      • kineda
                        Fuck your Subaru
                        • Apr 2004
                        • 29884

                        #12
                        blondes are stupid.
                        Originally posted by LTDpower
                        You are not Philip to me, you are customer #88306-B to me.
                        Originally posted by ProRauder
                        I submit that more I.T. people have disposable income to waste on making cars go fast

                        Comment

                        • TRDon
                          ......because trackcar
                          • Mar 2004
                          • 13153

                          #13
                          Originally posted by CCr View Post
                          I call that a bad joke. not funny at all, no conclusion. if you have to think about a blonde joke then you are probably blonde.
                          fix.t

                          Yeah that one makes no sence and is not funny.
                          Originally posted by Hack
                          Why spend all that money just to get a worn out copy of a small block Ford? It's going to be in the junk yard for a reason. I understand you have a religion called LS motors and you have faith that the LS motors break the laws of physics and work better and cost less than anything else ever built. Plus they never wear out.

                          I disagree.

                          Comment

                          • HAULNSS
                            Northstar Detail Supply
                            • May 2003
                            • 11526

                            #14
                            1995 Impala SS / T56 equipped ~ 1995 Firehawk convertible ~ 1964 Riviera ~ 2015 Silverado crew LTZ 6.2L ~ 2017 Silverado 3500HD High Country ~ 1950 Chrysler Windsor

                            Comment

                            • Fosters
                              Typical white person
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 16014

                              #15
                              Originally posted by SweetLou View Post
                              I don't get the first one. Others are pretty funny tho!
                              the guy on the phone asked "is the coast clear?" - was her boyfriend/secret lover... not for directions, lol..
                              Originally posted by punch
                              SFC is a bag of stupid.
                              Capitalization is the difference between helping your uncle Jack off a horse & helping your uncle jack off a horse.

                              Comment

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