The Sunday Night Joke 3-21-04

[SVT5LITER]

Subject: Cold Beer

It was a hot day in Minnesota. Helga hung out the wash to dry, put a roast in the oven, then went downtown to pick up some dry cleaning.

"Gootness, it's hotter dan heck today" she mused to herself as she walked down Main Street. She passed a tavern and thought, "Vy nodt?"

So she walked in and took a seat at the bar. The bartender walked up and asked her what she would like to drink.

"Ya know," Helga said, "it is zo hot, I tink I'll have myself a cold beer."

"Anheuser Busch?" the bartender asked.

Helga blushed and replied, "Vell fine, tanks... Und how's yer pecker?"

[MetallicPony]

bout time you brought back the jokes tim

[Fernanernie]

Bob the proctologist was getting sick of his job, it was pretty shitty. He's always wanted to be a mechanic, so he signs up for some night classes at the local VoTech. Exam time comes, Bob takes the test, thinks it's pretty difficult, but has a good feeling about it. The next week he gets his results in the mail. He looks at them. "150% WTF?!, there's gotta be a mistake somewhere." He brings the results into his teacher the next day. "Mr. Johnson, I think there's something wrong with my exam grade. It says that I got 150%". "No Bob, that's the correct grade." "How can that be?". Bob said. "Well the first section was tear-down, you got that perfect. The second section was rebuild, you aced that too. Everything was within tolerance, perfect job." Bob looks a little confused, "But that could only equal 100%". "I know", said Mr. Johnson, "But I gave you an extra 50% for doing it all through the tail pipe."

...<crickets> Can I get a rim-shot?! </crickets>

[SVT5LITER]

The Loving Wife...

The woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. And you know what?"

"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

"I think you're bad luck."


~ T ~

[Sleeper]

lol..

[FASTANG]

Originally posted by 99SSleeper
lol..

[DNeinstadt]

:hah: